Memento Mori

• Write your own eulogy. Many people have heard of this, but I recommend writing two versions: Write the eulogy for if you died today, and then write the one for if you lived a life aligned with what truly matters to you. The gap between them is the work for you to do and the places for you to focus.

• The deathbed story filter. Before any major decision, ask: “On my deathbed, will I regret not doing this, or will I regret the things I sacrificed to do it? What’s the story I wish to be able to tell about this when I’m dying?” This question has helped me see through superficial achievement traps and, on the other side, has helped me choose the short-term painful thing that benefits me in the long term.

• Remove things that will not be worthwhile in 5 years.

5 Regrets of the Dying

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

Identity — Who am I when pretenses die?

If I had one year left, what parts of my identity would I stop performing immediately?

Which values would I actually live… instead of admire?

What am I afraid people would discover if I stopped hiding?

Impact — What deserves my finite energy?

Which problem would I still choose to work on if no one could credit me?

What is the smallest high-impact action I can take today that echoes beyond me?

If a younger person I care about lived my life trajectory, would I be proud or afraid for them?

Relationships — Who gets the gift of my time?

Which relationships would I double down on if time was short?

Who do I need to apologize to before I no longer can?

Who would I regret not saying “I love you” to?

Regret Minimization — What must be done while alive?

What dreams would hurt the most to die with?

What am I postponing because discomfort feels worse than regret?

If I died tonight, what unfinished conversation would haunt my legacy?

Presence & Experience — Am I awake right now?

What am I rushing toward that will feel empty when I arrive?

What beautiful thing did I ignore today that my future self will miss?

If this moment were the last chapter, would it be worth reading?