1-on-1 Norms I Endorse

Here are 10 minutes of my thinking on norms I'd like to have for 1-on-1s I have:

• Small talk: I endorse having a couple minutes of small talk / introduction for every 1-on-1 (especially if it is the first time we've chatted) so that it eases into the conversation. Unless you are heavily constrained on time (communicate that), I prefer this over jumping straight into it.
• Intros: For intros, I want to gain context about your background and what problems you are facing / working on. I find that many intros lack the latter and, in general, I think most people can help you with your most important problems (through directly being able to help you, or knowing someone that can help you, or just giving another perspective).
• Be intentional about what you'd like to get from a 1-on-1: In general, having more 1-on-1s are good. Building relationships is instrumentally quite valuable. However, I believe a lot of value in 1-on-1's is lost because people are not intentional about what they want and ensuring they get it. It is useful to know what your cruxes.
• It is quite appropriate to own time: For many 1-on-1s, people really want to help you. You are able to 'take the reins' and share what would be most useful. Do you need help understanding a problem? Do you need help making a decision? Do you need help executing?
• What would be the most useful outcome of this 1 on 1?: I would recommend asking yourself this question. Imagine the 1-on-1 having ended, we shake hands and part ways, or you see me waving goodbye on and then see the 'this meeting has ended screen'. What would you want to ensure that we covered.
• Directly ask for what you want: I would prefer you asking what you want and making me uncomfortable over you not asking what you want or having me guess what you want (ask vs. guess culture). If you're asking for a job or referral then something that would be good is for you to say that it is totally okay for me to say no and you won't take it personally. Another good move for you to do is, instead of asking 'can you give me a referral', ask 'what needs to be true in order for you to refer me to this program'. YMMV